What is Earth in an Alien's Birth Chart?

Have you ever wondered what Earth is in an astrological chart for aliens? Assuming aliens live in our galaxy. Thought I would have a little fun by looking at if Earth was conjunct another planet in an alien's birth chart, what would that interpretation look like. A conjunction is similar to two planets, linking arms and having to work together - they don't have a choice. Also, please comment with your own interpretations as well, have fun with it.

Earth Conjunct:

Sun

Your ego is so big! You are always right. You are the center of attention no matter where you are.

Venus

No laws apply to you and no way you're paying any taxes. "I'm so pretty" is what you sing to yourself daily. You probably drink the blood of others to steal their youth.

Mercury

Fake news! You do not speak the truth nor do you know how to research the truth. You believe your own lies.

Mars

Violence. All responses. Violence. You are a weapon of mass destruction.

Pluto

You are the devil reincarnated.

Uranus

Disruptive AF. Nervous Energy. Can't sit still. You aren't unique, you are annoying.

Saturn

Tyrant. You fear you won't be liked and accepted by others so you bully your way through the galaxy.

Jupiter

Excess...eating, gambling, sex...you are the 7 deadly sins.

Neptune

You are delusional. You think all of space is YOUR space.

It would be cute if Earth was seen as full of love, peace and harmony, but we have some work to do on ourselves.

Be kind to yourself and others.

Sometimes we need to have a bit of fun and laugh. How you would you interpret these conjunctions? Not an alien and interested in exploring your birth chart or exploring the fixed stars in your birth chart, book a reading.